Finding Growth After a Crisis: Turning Challenges into Opportunities
“In the midst of every crisis lies great opportunity.” Albert Einstein
Although terrible things can happen in a crisis, there can be some good that can come out of it on the other side.
If you would like to read more about my tips on how to handle a crisis, please read my previous blog, “Navigating Crises with Your Child or Loved one: Essential Tips for Parents, Family Members, and Caretakers.
Before I address the topic of growth after a crisis, I want to say that I know in many circumstances things change after a crisis, and massive grief can settle in. Unfortunately, life is often quite different on the other side of a crisis, and we might not be able to retrieve what was lost. After a psychosis episode, for instance, the person might not be the same on the other side of the crisis. If your loved one has complications from a mental or physical crisis, certain aspects of life might be different afterwards. Or in a worst case scenario, your loved one passes after a mental or physical health crisis or some type of overdose. This opens up another very important discussion of grief and navigating life after a crisis amidst the grief. Grief is incredibly important to address, and I will most certainly do this in another blog.
In this blog though, I want to address the personal growth that can occur in a parent or family member after experiencing a crisis with their child or loved one. Navigating a crisis is terrible and it completely sucks!! But, personal growth can occur after a crisis. We might not notice it right away, but eventually we might see some growth in ourselves. When we have experienced a crisis with our loved one it can be life changing, and some of these changes in ourselves can be for the better. Remember that flowers CAN bloom from dark places.
So, what growth might we experience after life kicks us hard with a crisis? There can be some silver linings!
Flowers CAN bloom from the most unexpected and challenging environments!
1. Enhanced appreciation for life. EVERY DAY IS A BLESSING!!! Perhaps pre crisis we would find ourselves worrying all the time about the “what ifs”. What if this happens to our loved, or what if that happens to them. We know our loved one is struggling, and we want the best for them, so we worry because we love them. This is completely natural. But then what? All the worrying does does is take away from enjoying the now to the best of our ability. Things will never be perfect and wrapped up into a neat little bow, so embracing the good in every day is key! Even if hard stuff is going on in your life right now, this does not mean that every second of every day has to suck. We have to embrace the beauty in every day to survive, or we will be living in darkness. On the other side of a crisis you can begin to realize that every day does offer small moments of beauty. You just need to notice them and appreciate them. This has been life changing for me!! Life is hard and complicated, and appreciating the small moments of joy is a game changer. If I find myself asking the “what if” questions that do not serve me or my loved one well, I remind myself to find the blessing in the now. Life is good!
2. Embrace an attitude of gratitude. After a crisis you CAN grow and embrace an attitude of gratitude. Being grateful for what we have and not wishing for this and that can be an amazing shift we make for the better. It’s normal to let your mind wander and long for this and that, but if you are aware of it, you can then give yourself a friendly reminder to notice what is working well in your life right now and in your loved ones life right now, and be thankful and grateful for that!!! Even though we might have or have had terrible times, life can still wonderful and spectacular! I do think life can be terrible and wonderful at the same time. When I was experiencing a particularly long crisis in our family, I realized that so many wonderful things were happening in my life at the same time. How could I be experiencing so much good when so much terrible was happening at the same time? I threw myself into positive and meaningful outlets for myself, and I found that my business was thriving and growing, which was thrilling. Yet at the same time, life was very scary and worrisome, and frankly completely sucked!! So, I now know that life can be many things all at the same time. Life can be amazing and crappy simultaneously. Life is a gift that has been granted to us, and we have the power to embrace and enjoy it even when we are navigating hard things!!! Embracing an attitude of gratitude is most certainly a healthy way to exist in this crazy world we live in, and sometimes it takes life changing events and a crisis to embrace this way of living.
3. Shift in priorities. We begin to notice what really matters to us in life which can align your actions and goals with what is most meaningful to you. Perhaps pre crisis you were often doing things you felt obligated to do but did them anyway, spent time with people who really did not value you, or worried about what people thought. A crisis CAN change you for the better and shift your priorities in a way that serve you better in life. For example, maybe pre crisis you worried about what others might think of your loved one’s mental illness, neurodiversity, or addiction. This is very common. Unless you have been in this space, it’s hard to understand. Now, post crisis, you do not waste your precious time thinking about this. Life is too short to waste too much time worrying about what others think. The crisis changed you for the better, and you can live your truth and genuinely not care about what anyone thinks. This can be unbelievably freeing! You know your loved ones truth and value, and you know they are wonderful regardless of what hardships have been thrown their way. You know that your loved ones addiction does not define then! You know that your loved ones mental illness does not define them! The crisis changed you for the better. You grew as a person and have shifted your priorities to enhance your life, and to live a life that is more meaningful for you.
4. We stop sweating the small stuff. Although we all sweat the small stuff in life from time to time, when you are faced with crises, on the other side of these experiences you might find yourself not getting worked up about something that is not that important or that you can not control. You have navigated a rough road and now are on the other side of that and know that things could be a lot worse.
5. Reaffirmed purpose. A crisis can be life changing. It often leads to a new sense of purpose and commitment to making the most out of life, including new goals or passions. A crisis can often compel you to reevaluate your values, priorities, and goals, leading to a deeper understanding of your core beliefs and aspirations. Through navigating a crisis, you may discover renewed sense of direction and commitment to your purpose as you gain clarity on what truly matters to you and how you want to spend your life and contribute to the lives of others. Although my purpose, values and priorities continue to become more clear as I grow through what I go through, experiencing the crises I have been through with my family most certainly reaffirmed part of my purpose. I have a fitness coaching business, “Spin with Cyn”, that I started 10 years ago in my 2nd act of life just as life started to get super complicated with my kid’s issues. The purpose and passion I contribute towards my business continues to grow through the curve balls in life. I think my business continues to develop and evolve because the crises in my life continue to reaffirm my life’s purpose.
Furthermore, I most certainly would not have started my “Stronger Together” coaching practice had I not experienced these crises. I noticed through all my hardships that there was a huge need to reach parents and family members are are struggling because of their loved one’s hardships. I am thrilled to be starting this new journey and I am also throwing my passion and purpose into this part of my life as well. I think part of my life’s purpose is to be there and support parents and family members who are massively struggling with their kids. I get it and want to help!
These are just a few examples of how I grew during and after each crisis, but I continue to try and stay in tuned with what makes life as meaningful as possible for me, and make some adjustments as needed, because life is short and precious. You too can grow after a crisis with reaffirmed purpose. It is possible! xoxo
Being grateful for what you have today is game changing and essential to survive in this complicated world!
6. Increased empathy and compassion. On the other side of a crisis you might find yourself more compassionate and empathetic for those who are neurodivergent, have significant learning differences, mental illness, psychoses, or addiction issues. The world is not always a safe space for folks with these struggles, and embracing more empathy can strengthen the human connection with your loved one.
7. Increased resilience. Everything might not be great on the other side of the crisis, but you got through it. Another crisis might happen again, and you learned tools during the first crisis to help you next time. You learned you can get through stuff you never thought possible. No one dreams of what terrible things might happen and how we will handle it. Unfortunately, awful things can happen sometimes, and we are thrown into a whirlwind. Once the dust settles and we are on the other side of a crisis, we might find that we are stronger than we thought we were. We might have experienced terrible loss and grief as a result of the crisis, but this does not take away from the fact that you are still standing!!! Never give up on you or your loved one!!!
8. Strengthened relationships. This can happen!! So many marriages fall apart during or after a crisis, but the experience can also bring you closer together with your spouse and family members. You have experienced something that was life changing and crazy difficult and so did your spouse and family members. This shared experience of a crisis with a child or family member can deepen the bond. Only you guys get what a circus it was. Only you guys get the depths of the trauma experienced. No one else will fully understand it to the depth that you all do because you all lived through it together. From my personal experience, no one understood what was going on with our kids when they were going through various crises more than my husband. He got it 500% because he was living it just like me. We cried together! We prayed together! We were frightened together! We most certainly had our hardships trying trying to navigate life during after each crisis, but we worked hard to understand those struggles and to understand one another, and this brought us closer together. We united time and time again to navigate hard hard stuff, and we became stronger together!
Flowers CAN bloom from dark places!
Life after a crisis often feels like navigating through darkness, but just as flowers bloom from the most unexpected places, so too can you find growth and strength after these trying times. The adversity that you have faced can become the soil in which resilience and new perspectives take root. Embrace the journey of transformation, and recognize that like the flower that pushes through tough conditions to thrive, you can too and emerge stronger and more connected.
Emerging from a crisis can be an opportunity for profound growth within. By reflecting on the challenges faced and recognizing the gains you have made on the other side of these hardships, you can transform terrible experiences into valuable and life changing lessons. Embrace healing for the better and build a stronger and more resilient you with potential new purpose and perspectives and hopefully a deeper understanding of what really is important in life. Believe in yourself and internalize that you are ready to face whatever comes next with renewed strength and optimism.
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Little by little we travel far!